Starring...
	Pepper as The King
	Yukihana as the Dead Queen
	Lina as Off White
	Raziel as The Evil Queen (in bondage gear)
	Justin as The Magic Mirror
	Seraph as Bitchy
	Cinnamon as Horny
	Lana as Rocky
	Kouji as Whiny
	Kazuo as Fuzzy
	Ryosuke as Girly
	Gaav as The Corrupt Woodsman
	Takeo as Prince Charming

<Ryan> Once upon a time, there was a kingdom, the name of which our author doesn't want to bother with.
*winter scenery*
<Pepper> *dressed as a king*
<Yukihana> *dressed as a queen*
<Chibi-Lina> *dressed as a baby princess*
<Ryan> During one winter, the King's good, gentle wife passed on, leaving him with a daughter...
<Yukihana> *falls over*  x.x
<Chibi-Lina> *usagi-wails*
<Pepper> *sweatdrops*
<Ryan> The king grew lonely and remarried, his second wife cold and manipulative, and above all quite vain...
*scene changes to a chapel*
<Pepper> *dressed in a tux*
<Raziel> *dressed in a wedding gown*
<Ryan> ......alright, so above all, she looked like a short, stocky, blue man.  But she was quite vain as well.  She was fond of asking her magic mirror who was most beautiful in the land, and hearing it's reply.
*scene change to queen's room*
<Raziel> *in Zelgadis' bondage gear* ...who's most beautiful in the land..?
<Justin> *as a face on the top of a mirrorframe* You're the only person I've ever seen, y'know.
<Raziel> Close enough!  Ooohohohoho!  *poses*
<Justin> *cracks* <m> Ow...
<Ryan> It continued like this for a long time, as the princess, named Off White (she may have been beautiful and innocent, but she was also very strange - noone's perfect, ne?) grew into a beautiful, if inhumanly awkward, young woman.  Then, one day...
<Raziel> *in Zel's bondage gear* ...who's the most beautiful in the land.
<Justin> *as the mirror* Compared to princess Off White?  Nasty.  You look like a short, stocky, blue man.
<Raziel> *glares* What?!  Why you little...
<Justin> Uhh, well, hey, you're still... uhh... very... gravelly...
<Raziel> ...shuttup.
<Ryan> The evil queen's vanity made her jealous of Off White, and decided the best tactic was to have Off White done in.  So, not wishing to implicate herself, she talked a corrupt woodsman who she knew through friends in the the Corrupt Stock Characters Association into doing the deed.
*scene change to a forest setting*
<Lina> *sitting on a stump obliviously, surrounded by many cute, fuzzy critters*
<Gaav> *as a Corrupt Lumberjack, sneaks up behind Off White, wearing a "slay the cute creatures" shirt*
<Ryan> However, Gaav the Corrupt Lumberjack, underestimated the power of cute creatures.
<Infernal Spawn of Hell> *one of the cute things huddled around Lina, looks up at Gaav, utters an earth-shaking roar and splashes its cup of hot chocolate on his crotch*
<Gaav> *falls over and twitches*
<Ryan> And so, Off White's life was saved.  Realizing that, although she was quite intelligent, she was far too absentminded to grasp the concept of the evil queen wanting her dead, Off White's loyal following of cute, fuzzy creatures led her off into the forest to protect her from further attempts.
<Infernal Spawn of Hell> *scurries off into the woods, followed by the other critters*
<Lina> *blinks and follows after them*
<Ryan> She walked for a long time after the procession of cute little creatures, before stumbling upon a large cottage. Literally.
<Lina> *walking along, trips and stumbles face-first into a cottage and falls on her butt*
<Seraph> *from inside* Who the hell's knocking on the door at this hour?!
<Lina> *blinks* Me!
<Seraph> *opens the door and peeks out at Lina* ...go away. *shuts the door*
<Lina> *blinks at the door and sits there*
<Cinnamon> *inside* You don't have to be so mean to everyone, y'know!
<Seraph> *inside* Shut the hell up.
<Cinnamon> *opens the door and smiles* Oh, hi!  Who're you?
<Lina> *blinks* You feeling okay, Cinnamon-chan?  It's me, Lina.
<Cinnamon> *sweatdrops and hands Lina a script*
<Lina> *reads it for a moment, then puts it away* Oh, uhh...  I'm princess Off White.
<Cinnamon> *smiles* Really?  The princess?  What're you doing all the way out here?
<Lina> *stands up* I'm not sure...  I was just following the cute fuzzy creatures through the forest.
<Cinnamon> Oh... uhh... well, come on in, you must be hungry and tired!
<Lina> *nods and walks inside, where Seraph, Lana, Kouji, Kazuo, Ryosuke and Raven are*
<Cinnamon> We're the Seven Wierd Neighbors.  You already met Bitchy.
<Seraph> *grumbles*
<Cinnamon> Over there's Rocky. *motions to Lana*
<Lana> *grins and waves*
<Cinnamon> That's Whiny, there. *motions to Kouji*
<Kouji> Good day, miss!
<Cinnamon> Here's Fuzzy. *motions to Kazuo*
<Kazuo> *nods*
<Cinnamon> There's Girly. *motions to Ryosuke*
<Ryosuke> <m> Not my fault I was drawn that way...... *sighs and walks off*
<Cinnamon> That's Spooky. *motions to Raven*
<Raven> *nods from a shadowy corner*
<Cinnamon> *smiles* And I'm Horny!
<Lina> *blinks and blushes deep* Um.. what..?
<Kouji> Oh shit! *hides*
<Lana> *giggles*
<Cinnamon> *blushes* Err... I mean, it's my name...
<Seraph> *turns a bit green* <m> There's a reason for that.
<Cinnamon> *sighs* Anyways.  You hungry, Off White?
<Lina> *nodnods* I sure am!
<Cinnamon> Alright! *starts cooking*
<Lina> *sits there for a few minutes and blinks* ...why's it so quiet in here, anyway?
<Raven> Most of us are merely here in bit parts to fill the seven neighbor requirement, so we have rather few lines.
<Lina> *sweatdrops* Oh...
<Cinnamon> *serves up a tablefull of food* Dinner's ready, everyone!!
<Lina> Thanks! *digs in, finishing it all in a matter of seconds*
<Others> *all sweatdrop*
<Kazuo> So much for dinner...
*knock at the door*
<Cinnamon> I'll get it! *goes and opens the door, finding Raziel hunched over in robes, outside* Can I help you?
<Raziel> *attempting an old lady voice* ...oh, yes, excuse me, miss...  I was wondering if I might stop and rest for awhile...
<Cinnamon> *blinkblinks* Oh, sure, come inside, ma'am.
<Raziel> *walks inside* Oh my, is this a princess you have here...?
<Seraph> You can have her, she ate my fucking dinner.
<Lana> You're very well named, Bitchy.
<Seraph> Shuttup, pebble-chest.
<Kazuo> Could you stop fighting for once?
<Seraph> Bite me, furball.
<Lina> *sweatdrops*
<Raziel> ...anyway.  *throws the robes off and stands there in Zelgadis' bondage gear*  Ooohohohoho!
<Seraph> What the fuck?! *falls over laughing*
<Lana> *blinks* Uhh...
<Kazuo>  *quirks a brow* ...erm.
<Cinnamon> *blushes and blinks*
<Lina> *blinkies* Oh, hi Evil Queen-san!
<Raziel> ...you thought you could escape that easilly?
<Lina> Escape?
<Raziel> ...you escaped the assasination attempt, remember?
<Lina> Oh, oh, that......  uhh......  nope, I don't.
<Raziel> *facefaults*
<Cinnamon> Um...  can we help you with something?
<Raziel> *smirks* ...no.  I'm just here to do this. *bops Lina over the head*
<Lina> *goes swirley-eyed and falls over*
<Raziel> For opposing the Queen, your punishment is death!  Ooooohohohohoho!!
<Lana> You killed the princess!
<Seraph> You bastard!
<Raziel> ...shuttup. Now excuse me. I have gloating to do. *walks off*
<Cinnamon> *blinks and walks over to Lina, shaking her* You alright, Miss White?
<Lina> *doesn't respond*
<Kazuo> *pokes at her* Hmm...  that's not good...
<Ryosuke> *walks in again* What's going on? Why's that princess lying on the floor?
<Seraph> <m> You'd know if you were ever around at all...
<Lana> *blinks and kicks Lina* You gonna wake up?
<Cinnamon> *sweatdrops* ...I don't think that'll work, Rocky.
<Kazuo> So what do we do now...?
<Lana> Burn the body?
<Seraph> Sell her as a cadaver and get some cash?
<Cinnamon> Hmm...  I say we build a nice, roomy box with an advanced life support system and leave it, clearly market, in the front yard, in case a prince comes along and wants to bring her back to life.
<Lana> *sweatdrops* Wouldn't it be more fun to burn the body?
<Kazuo> I like Horny's idea.  And burning hair smells nasty.
<Lana> *pouts*
<Cinnamon> So, Girly, Bitchy and Rocky? Please go and work on it. Fuzzy, I need to talk to you a moment.
<Seraph, Lana and Ryosuke> *go outside, dragging Lina along*
<Kazuo> What'd you want, Horny?
<Cinnamon> *winks* Good guess! *pounces and drags Kazuo off*
<Kazuo> Erk...
<Kouji> *pokes his head out from behind a chair* <m> ...Horny-san she scares me...
<Ryan> Two years later, a young prince was pass through the area...
*outside the cottage*
<Takeo> *strolls past the cottage, stops, walks back and blinks at the marker and the box*
<Marker> *reads, "Here lies a very hungry princess. If you're a prince, feel free to take her."*
<Takeo> *sweatdrops, walks to the door and knocks*
<Seraph> Who the hell's knocking this time?!
<Takeo> Uhh, Prince Charming.
<Seraph> *opens the door and glares* Egotistical male chauvinist pig!  Go shrivel up and die!
<Takeo> *sweatdrops* Uhh, no, I mean it's my name.  Charming Masaki.
<Seraph> *blinks* What the hell kind of name is "Charming" anyway?
<Takeo> Hey, not my fault.  What's with the princess, and who're you?
<Seraph> Oh, we burried her in case a prince wanted to to drag her off or something, and I'm Bitchy.
<Takeo> *blinks* Come again?
<Seraph> I said, I'm Bitchy.
<Takeo> <m> You noticed too, huh...? *sweatdrops*
<Seraph> What was that?!
<Takeo> *chuckles and scratches behind his head* Er.... nothing, heheheh.... so you just left her there hoping someone'd carry her off?
<Seraph> Yeah.  Now go away. *shuts the door*
<Takeo> *blinks* Uhh... yeah... *sighs* Well... I guess she at least deserves to be burried properly... *walks over and opens up the coffin, blinking at Lina inside*
<Lina> *yawns and stretches, blinkies her eyes open*
<Takeo> Aren't you supposed to be dead?
<Lina> Dead? I was taking a nap.
<Takeo> ...for two years?
<Lina> *blinks* Well, I was tired...  Oh, hi Takeo-sama!
<Takeo> *sweatdrops and leans over* <w> Uhh, Lina-tenshi, you're supposed to call me "Charming."
<Lina> You feel okay?  It's kinda wierd to ask for compliments like that...
<Takeo> <w> Erm.... no, no, that's just my name, Lina-tenshi...
<Lina> It is?  You sure remind me of Takeo-sama...  Well, I'm going back to sleep then...
<Takeo> *blinks* Uhh.. but.. what about the show? *looks around and sighs* Aww hell, I'll join you... *hops into the box with Lina and closes the lid, which is thankfully soundproofed*
<Ryan> And thus ends the story of Off White and how she found her prince.  Later that year, the king realized that his wife, in fact, WAS a short, stocky, blue man, and filed for divorce.  Queen Raziel left and joined the Seven Wierd Neighbors as a replacement for the rarely present Girly.  And Off White and her prince Charming Masaki lived happilly ever after, naturally, this work having been enough of an effort without adding a meaningful as well.

THE END